Difficult Topics: 6 Things You Are Dying to Know About SUP (But Are Afraid to Ask)

From intercourse to chafing, we cover it all. The things you were dying to know, but didn’t know how to ask. Or maybe you knew. If you already knew, good for you! I didn’t when I started and I made a fool of myself or hurt myself I even cried in front of some people when I shouldn’t have.

Peeing in a cold, long distance race

We were waiting in the cold for the grueling 31 miles of the 2013 Chattajack to begin when some of the ladies started talking. “Well, what if I have to pee? Would my whole draft train stop? Will I get out of the water?” The men have it made; they just stay on their board and can go off the side. The women, if really wanting to go for time, have a bit of a predicament.

I was taught the art of board peeing in the Holland 11-Cities race. This one goes 220km over 5 days. You’re often amidst cow and sheep fields with nowhere to really get out of the water. After my first incident, where I pulled over to the side of one of the canals and punctured my hollow board, I realized that I was doing it wrong. Tiffany Ward, a great kite surfer and all-around fun girl, mentioned that I should just pee on my board. The next day I had to go, so I just went. I’m a blonde, so I didn’t realize that pee on your board didn’t mean pee in your pants. There I was, very uncomfortable as the warm became cold, a little gross, and my recessed deck pad was also… gross. It wasn’t until the next day when I was paddling with Tiffany in a draft train and she stopped paddling, dropped trou, and squatted on her board. She then rocked the rails to flush the board. I had a light bulb moment, and now I am a master of the craft.

At Chattajack, as we froze our buns off, a group of ladies with full bladders were eager to take pee-on-board lessons amidst the fog. Men kept a respectable distance, but looked on and laughed as I demonstrated the famed technique with an added level of modesty. If you leave your bathing suit bottoms or underwear on while you squat down on your board, no one sees your booty, and you can move it to the side. You then replace all of the clothing, stand, and rock to flush the board.

Uncomfortable chafing

Sometimes you will get some uncomfortable chafing. The main complaint of my significant other is cafing from the hydration pack straps on his man-nipples. I think he’s just sensitive, but I’ve heard it from other people too. Sometimes wearing a tighter shirt/rashie can alleviate this problem. Men, however, often wear baggier clothes or no shirt at all. They make numerous other hydration pack options like belt/fanny packs. If you don’t need instant access to water, just strap a bottle to your board.

Another source of chafing comes from climbing back onto your board while surfing. In the chest, this is easily fixed with a rashie. However, climbing back up to stand time and time again can start to wear on your knees and forearms. When you’re learning to surf, your undoubtedly going to fal